Are you feeling angry but bored of your run-of-the-mill insults?
Next time, shock your enemy with some originally!
A reader recently sent us this hilarious list of curses that’s perfect for when you’re feeling a bit passive aggressive.
They’ll never see this coming.
1. May all your Tupperware have misplaced lids.
2. May your spouse come to talk to you, and then leave the door slightly ajar, so that you have to get up and close it.
3. May your tea be too hot when you receive it, and too cold by the time you remember it’s there.
4. May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.
5. May every sock you wear be slightly rotated, just enough for it to be uncomfortable.
6. May you always run out of toilet paper at the worst moment.
7. May both sides of your pillow be warm.
8. May you forever misplace your glasses so you have to feel around to find them.
9. May you always get up from your chair and forget what you got up to do.
10. May your life be as pleasant as you are.
11. May your chair produce a sound similar to a fart, but only once, such that you cannot reproduce it to prove that it was just the chair.
12. May your five year old neighbor have their violin lessons during all of your midday naps.
13. May you have you always leave the freezer door open and wake up to melted ice cream.
14. May your return calls always go unanswered, even though you literally just called me.
15. May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.
16. May your cookie always be slightly too large to fit inside your glass of milk.
17. May you receive a call from a salesperson during every dinner.
18. May your spoon always slip and sink under the hot soup you eat.
19. May you never remember these curses when you try to.
Too funny!
Who says foul language is necessary to get your point across?
With a bit of creativity, you can still insult someone while remaining relatively well-mannered.
Time to put a confusing prank into action.
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