Sydney is the mother of two young children and a wife to her loving husband but recently, she was compelled to share the story of her husband’s ridiculous bout of “man flu.”
Sydney shared her silly and relatable story to show other women in her situation that, even when they themselves are pregnant, sick, and tired, their husbands aren’t the only men acting like “Big Babies” when it comes to falling ill.
“The ‘man flu’ season is coming,” she begins.
“It might not even be the flu, it could just be a cold, but he’ll treat it like the plague because it happens every year like clockwork. Throw it back to 2014. I was about 9 weeks pregnant with Cora and Sadie was 6 months old. From the moment I woke up, I was violently puking all day… I honestly thought I had killer morning sickness or possibly a stomach bug so I went with it.
Then 6 p.m. rolls around… it was definitely not morning sickness because I watched my husband transform right before my eyes, stumbling around saying he’s going to puke. Grreeeeeat.”
This is where Sydney begins to outline the stages of dealing with the “man flu,” beginning with kindness. She soothes her husband and tell him to go relax in the bathroom for a minute, but things don’t go so smoothly.
“Stage 2: This is the actual worst and I’m going to kill him,” she describes.
First, husband Ty pukes in a sink of dirty dishes before ending up in the bathroom, where he makes an even bigger mess. Then, he starts describing symptoms of the flu that don’t even exist.
“Stage 3: There’s no turning back, he’s committed. He lays on the floor with his eyes closed and starts moaning ‘Syd. Syyydd. I can’t. I can’t see.’ Brain: Oh Jesus so now he can’t see? Is this a joke. He has a flu symptom that doesn’t even exist.”
‘Syd… Call 911. Syd. I’m dying… call 911. Call 9…1…1…'”
So that’s when Sydney decides to call his bluff, begrudgingly calling 911 for her dramatic husband, who happens to be a first responder himself.
“Stage 4: This man just told me to call 911. Do you need me to call 911?? We just have the stomach flu and I’M PREGNANT. I’m tired. You’re telling me I am going to pick up the phone and say this is an emergency. You know they’re going to actually come here RIGHT? Right? I’m gonna do it. I’m dead serious,” she says.
When he insists, she struggles through a conversation with a 911 dispatcher, describing things exactly as they are.
Dispatch: 911 what’s your emergency?
Me: Ugh. Hi. How are you? Ughhhh. It’s my husband. He’s. I don’t know, he’s umm… He’s throwing up.
Dispatch: …Ok? Are there any other symptoms?
Me: He can’t see. Or talk. Or move. He’s basically unresponsive.
Dispatch: Any chest pain or shortness of breath, ma’am?
Me: (whispering into the phone) Oh God, no… he has *the flu*
An ambulance is dispatched and Ty mentions something guaranteed to only make things worse – he has pooped his pants.
“Then a lightbulb clicks in his head…” Sydney explains.
“Stage 5: I just called 911, someone pooped themselves, the countdown begins. He realizes there’s a really good chance he’ll know one of these paramedics and he miraculously found the strength to haul his butt to our room to change. The paramedics get to our house… Guys, it’s like an angel came down from Heaven and cured him right there on the spot. All of a sudden he could talk again. He could walk again. He could even see again like a Christmas miracle. They proceed to tell me I need to follow behind them to the hospital because he was going via ambulance. For the flu. That I gave him. I drive my pregnant butt alone to the hospital while puking in a plastic bag with my husband in front of me on a stretcher being doted on. It’s the first and last time I’ve ever considered divorce.”
When the two arrive, both Sydney and Ty are admitted to the hospital due to the dangers of the flu in pregnant women, but the nurses seem to know what’s up, with her husband.
“Stage 6: Nurses are the bomb. The nurses keep coming in to give me the ‘I’m so sorry’ look. The nod all women know. When someone says their man is sick we take a moment of silence for each other. United we stand.”
Sydney went on to describe how the dramatics continued into their return home and how she didn’t speak to her husband for three days, but that they are able to laugh at the whole thing now.
“I told him one day I would share this story, maybe to help another family in need. So women won’t feel alone. If you think your hubs is the worst when they get sick, come and read this again for a reminder. Beware… the man cold and flu season is near. This could be you.”
So watch out, your man could be next.