Doctors. They are our life-savers and our care-givers.
We can’t avoid them! So doctors deal with entire populations and exclude nobody. Because of this, doctors meet some interesting patients along the way and hear some of the craziest things nobody could make up.
In this hilarious thread from Reddit, doctors share their hilarious stories about patients who probably need to go back to school.
Just when you think you’ve heard it all…
Read the following passage below.
1. I once had to explain to a frantic client that the ticks she had frantically been trying to remove from her male dog’s belly with tweezers were actually his nipples. I also told her she had an extremely well behaved, patient dog.
2. I had to tell a patient that no, you should not attempt to continue wearing a contact lens that was dropped in the toilet.
3. I’ve told more than one parent that their infant should not be drinking Dr. Pepper out of their bottle.
4. One patient was complaining the cat allergy medicine we gave her wasn’t working (formulated in an inhaler). It turns out she was spraying the inhaler on her cat. We have to explain to her that she needs to inhale it.
5. For Gosh Sakes, don’t put butter on a burn.
6. Had a lady measure her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.
7. There was apparently a scurvy “epidemic” on a college campus because some kids thought pizza and Mt Dew was a sufficient diet.
8. A lady was prescribed estrogen patches and was told to stick one patch on herself every other day. At the next follow-up, she said she didn’t like the patches because she’d been “running out of space.” I didn’t think to clarify to her that she should have been placing a new patch and removing the one from yesterday each day. Very amusing. She indeed was covered in sticky patches.
9. Had to explain that Band-Aids did not cure anything and just covered up a wound. The patient tried to cure her recently diagnosed Type II diabetes by sticking Band-Aids all over herself.
10. I work at a genetics laboratory. We had a patient call after his doctor sent us his DNA sample and inform us that we were not allowed to clone him.
11. Mom brought her kids to the ER after they ate all of their Halloween candy because they had tummy aches. They were still eating Reese’s peanut-butter cups when they were in the exam room. I had to explain to her that they need to cut back on the candy, and she looked at me like I had three heads.
12. That just because it says “contains vegetable extracts” on the side of it a can of coke does not count as one of your five a day.
13. A woman came in for a well baby check with her 6 month old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk at which point she interrupts him and says “Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”
Just wow…
Doctors are a respected and noble profession. But it’s no surprise when you realize what they really have to deal with!
Best of all, doctors must keep their decorum and answer questions politely at all times, no matter how ridiculous they sound.
At least with patients as dim as these, doctors can get a bit of comic relief from their serious work.
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