So I don’t usually get angry… but I had had enough. I went straight up to her and told her that I was not going to make a scene, but she needed to get in the car with me. She turned into another person. “I’m almost 18! You can’t do this to me! You are embarrassing me!” I snapped.
I’m not sure what I said, but it was along the lines of, “You should be embarrassed! You put a girl in the hospital because of what you and your friends have been up to and now you have lied to me and you are drinking alcohol underage. Your mother would be so ashamed of you, I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
I caused quite a fuss, so she got in the car and she is home now. I have taken away all electronics (laptop, cell phone, TV privileges). I told her she needed to log into the anonymous Facebook and post a message apologizing and naming herself as the person who posted the pictures. When she logged in, I immediately looked through her posts. It wasn’t just one person she had posted about. This Facebook page was dedicated to making fun of the “nerds and loners” of the school. There must have been 50 pictures.
She posted the apology and then I made it clear that she was not to do anything for the rest of the summer. All plans are canceled until further notice. She can use the land line phone if she needs to, but only when I am there.
Other consequences I am enforcing: community service – still researching that, and looking for advice about it.
When the girl gets out of the hospital Callie is going to apologize to her and her family.
I have taken the door of her room off its hinges. No privacy for a while.
Everything in the house that she has as a luxury is gone. This includes: all the expensive chemicals for skins and hair that I have bought her. I gave her simple shampoo, conditioner, body wash and lotion. Otherwise it is all in the garage. She also lost her makeup (don’t know if I will keep this enforced). I took everything out of her bedroom that she uses, and she basically only has books and her keyboard piano. I have told her to catch up on reading and to try practicing the piano that she begged for and then never used.
I told her to take the night and think things over. If she wants to fight me on everything tomorrow morning, then so be it. If she takes her punishment and agrees to these terms, then I will consider how long the duration should be.
Adolescence is a confusing time, and children often resort to cruelty in order to fit in. They feel invincible, like the rules don’t apply to them. They are just kids, after-all. But sooner or later, they will grow up, and the world will judge them harshly, as adults. Tough love isn’t easy, but it might be exactly what’s needed.
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